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Imagine you have worked very hard in a place of work and you emerged best worker of the year. You could choose to be celebrated the way you want. Its either, your boss calls you into his office, shakes your hand and give you a gift to say thank you privately or he announces you as the best worker at the yearly company year end party, where you are given an award.

If a lot of people are truthful to themselves they would definitely prefer the second option because it is natural for a lot of us to want to be celebrated by others. We want everyone to know how awesome we are. We like an applause once in a while by others cheering us on. I know some others prefer the private thing for different reasons, some for fear of being attacked and ostracized or even fear of village people.

Why do you think people get excited and cry at a public proposal because when celebrated publicly it carries a lot of weight than when it is done privately. Why do we even do wedding ceremonies publicly? Have you ever asked why? You see if you love your spouse, they shouldn’t be the only one who knows, let everyone around them feel the love you have for them.

Public display of affection is a good thing. Even in the Bible they would have snatched Isaac’s wife and had her for good if not because they sported publicly(Gen 26:7-9. I love to publicly display my love because I don’t just want to be the only one to know my spouse is awesome, I want the whole world to.

When we were in Nigeria my husband will sometimes come to my office to take me for lunch and sometimes we take a walk to the restaurant. On the way while going, we are laughing and holding each other, so much so that you will think we are newly weds. I remember that we used to go an eatery together and the guys working there thought we were newly weds because of the way we behaved, they were surprised the first time we brought in our two children.

Think back to the time you were wooing your spouse. Didi you not tell everyone how amazing she/he was? My hubby told his family that he had met an angel, so much so that they were all looking forward to meet the angel. So why should that celebration stop because our marriage is ten years. The source of a thing should sustain the thing. When I arrive home from any outing, we still welcome ourselves with a hug and a kiss. There was a day I came back home tired. I entered the house and just sat down. My first son had to come and ask me if I didn’t know Daddy was at home. I asked him why he asked me the question. He said because I have not gone to give Daddy a hug. He knew immediately something was wrong.

Even our children should be celebrated. I have started a new tradition of pasting thank you notes and appreciation notes on my fridge to appreciate my children for good deeds, like sweeping, picking, loving themselves, presenting, singing and anything they do well. Why do we focus on what they do wrong and refuse to praise them when they do well.

One of the reason we have a community around us is so we can have people to celebrate special days and events with. One of the reasons we have marriage is so we have someone who celebrates us everyday. Lets celebrate our spouse with every given opportunity. If they do something good, appreciate them for it. Let them know constantly that you love them both in truth and in deeds. Celebrate them privately and by all means also celebrate them publicly.

Victor Tope Taiwo one of the promises I make to you is that I will never get tired of celebrating you and these beautiful boys our union produced. I love you greatly.

Ronke Taiwo is the Lead Coach at Scintillating Sex in Marriage Course, an online platform for gaining sexual satisfaction in marriage. She specializes in Emotional Intelligence Therapy, Mood Disorders Reprogramming, Relationship Counselling, Stress Management & Sexual Therapy. Ronke is an avid writer, sort after speaker & bestselling author

Aderonke Taiwo

lead coach & Tutor ssim

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